Loving someone

Got your message this afternoon, you said that I'm ignoring your call and told me that now your XL number is unreachable. I was surprised!! Actually I tried to reach you couple days ago. I try to call but your number is out of area, texted u but no delivery report. Until this afternoon, question is, did u got my text to your other number? If no, what kind of nonverbal communication we did? Oh yeah, I replied and you didnt reply back. Thats fine, I am getting used to with that bad habit.

Honestly, this night I visit your girlfriend's ex-facebook. Found it accidentally when I simply type her name. How do I know her name? I did asked, remember? I know this is not a good habit, guess you also agree that this is so not me. But its pretty fun, though. Now i know the feeling of the stalker and detective when they got information that they are looking for. Thats not the point of the story, haha.

What actually I want to complaint is, why you date that kind of girl? You know, aku sungguh tidak berhak menilai, sungguh. But I cant help myself. Jadi kalau kamu menemukan bahwa membaca ini membuatmu bertambah kesal dan marah tanpa alasan. Klik saja tanda 'silang' di atas sana. Dude, your girlfriend is so immature. Aku menemukan dirinya sekitar tiga tahun yang lalu, melihat beberapa foto dan membaca captionnya. Dan entah kenapa aku kecewa, not her, but you. You reject me and choose that girl instead of me. Just because you guys aren't separated by distance and she is more reasonable, you said?  Oh come on, you better give me more explanation and i really hope its clever enough for my brain. To be fair, maybe I dont see what you see in her. Aku tahu dia banyak membantu dan menemanimu, aku amat sangat tahu. Tapi lebih baik kamu punya alasan yang lebih pintar daripada sekedar hutang budi dan mungkin sedikit rasa kasihan. Sungguh aku sadar aku tidak berhak bicara begini, maaf kalo aku kelewatan. Sekali lagi, kalau tidak tahan, just leave this page.

What suddenly came into my mind is, mungkin kalau kata orang yang minum tolak angin itu benar. "He never love you since the very first time, the one he love is her. What he do is only play 'pull and push' because he feel comfortable talking with you". Mungkin jika dia benar, mungkin jika semua ini memang bagian dari permainan, entah permainan siapa, siapa mempermainkan siapa dan siapa dipermainkan siapa. Dan memang benar adanya kalau kamu mencintainya sejak kali pertama, aku rela. Belum sampai ke tahap ikhlas memang. Tapi aku rela. Setidaknya itu pilihanmu dengan orang yang kamu cintai. Orang yang menurutmu tepat. Mengecewakan memang. Bukan karena aku kehilangan kamu, dude. Tapi karena kamu bersama dengan orang yang menurutku tidak akan bisa membahagiakanmu seperti yang aku bisa. Well, thats my own opinion. Just ignore! And in the opposite, sisi egoisku berkata kalau kamu toh tidak akan pernah bisa menghapus aku hanya karena kamu memilih untuk bersamanya. She will never be able to replace me!! We both know that, atau bila kamu menyangkal, at least I know that for sure. You wont be as happy as you are with me. I bet that. Well, good luck. Now I guess I will leave all of the decision to you until that day we promised before. Feel free to contact me like I will contact you whenever I want. We still have enough time for making the beautiful memories. At least we can be a whatever friend.


Oh, i forgot to tell you my new definition of the most beautiful and painful things in the world.

Loving someone is about letting him/her go and see if he/she is return

Or in my case, it can be combine with my perspective i've told you many times

Loving you is all about letting you go and see if you return. But dont forget, I wont always stand here or stand alone

Oh, dont you think thats perfectly beautiful. I love you, dude